Don’t stop til you get enough

 Last week, my hopefully soon to be ex spouse, decided to “ Put the petty stuff aside and do what’s best for the kids“. For anybody that has dealt with a narcissist, you would know that this is complete bullshit. He just wants me to go to mediation and he thinks that he will have full control and get what he wants if I go.

My lawyer is almost acting like she wants to ignore the bad things that he does, and believes that he is a good person. This is obnoxious, to say the least, and I don’t think we’ll work in my favor. As a result, I have to check everything And I feel like I almost have to fight her.

Today he sent my three year-old daughter to school with pink eye. She was dropped off with pink red, swollen eyes at 8 AM. They tried to call her father, who did not answer because he was not at work yet. He only drops the children off early so that he can do his out. Then they called me and I went to pick her up and got her to the doctor. They said it was a viral Pinki and I kept my daughter with me and fed her pizza and let her watch Mickey Mouse Club until it was time for her to go to her daddy‘s house. When I drove up, he was in his fancy suit and tie, and the babysitters car was parked outside. I don’t know why he has to be there for me to drop her off when we all know that he’s just going to go to work and leave her there. 

I hate this court system, and I hate lawyers, and I hate this system where we have to trade off our children. I know that somebody decided that this is what is just in the world. But I have a lot of trouble having faith that those who shouldn’t have possession of their children, don’t always get what they deserve which is their solitude. I have raised those children by myself since they were born. I miss them terribly when they are gone. 

Movement

 Today my lawyer called me. She had a plan to make a case that I gave up my career to take care of children. She’s going to fight their claim that he cannot support myself and the children with his one million dollar a year income.

She is also going to use a small error in our temporary orders to (what I hope) is my advantage. Due to a change in September 2023, standard expanded custody and standard custody became the same thing. However we signed our temporary orders agreement in June of 2023 and there was a lot of details left out due to my totally incompetent previous associate attorney. My current attorney will try to use this to my advantage would be great. So my spouse can open the financial part of the orders, “leave” the custody orders, and then we will just “clarify” them. She felt confident that I would get the standard orders originally instated the way they were before the new law passed. This would be a win for me. I feel that no judge will feel mercy on a man who makes so much and doesn’t want to pay for his children to live with their mother during this process.

My children hate going to him. They make it clear. So I will fight for them. 

I interviewed with a brokerage who said that they would be thrilled to have me after I finish my exam and course work. I am very focused on making this happen. 

He’s still a dick.

The masks don’t last forever

 Today, my cleaning lady (who is not just a cleaning lady) told me that Jared had let her go in a few minute conversation. He said that he would continue to pay her for vacation for two months until mediation is over but she no longer needed to come. Then when everything is settled, she can return. 

She is not just a cleaning lady. She is a neighbor, a mother/friend to me, and treats my children like they are her own. She loves them and they love her. For him to treat her the way that he just did seemed to have impacted her greatly. She said that she was basically fired. I think he is paranoid and trying to buy her silence and expects her to keep a spot for him.

I believe she finally got a personal glimpse of who he really is and how little he values people- how little empathy he has. 

He told her this yesterday while she was cleaning on Wednesday February 21st. 

She will remain close to me and my children as long as she allows, but I am so sorry that she has been stuck in the middle. 

In the past week, he has shown who he really is to my lawyer and to her. What’s next? I have not responded to his ultimatums. He thinks that things will be resolved in mediation in April, but he has another thing coming. 

Ultimatums and threats

 I got a call from my lawyer this morning. She told me that my husband was demanding all monetary documents (which he has never supplied for himself) by Friday. My lawyer said this was impossible to do in four days. They also wanted the house listed by the end of the week “or else”. My lawyer didn’t take it well, and she is normally very level headed and non emotional. She told me she would be canceling mediation in April which would send us straight to court. She told me to keep my head down and do everything that she says. That’s usually when people are about to pull a move in a dire situation in order to escape, like the zombie movies. 

I will not heed to any of these controlling threats. He is showing the world who he really is and i will sit back and watch him continue. 

Change

 It’s been years since I’ve written. I’ve lost loved ones, pets, made a family, and then it was torn down.

In the process, my privacy was invaded via my private journal. I have trust issues writing in it now. It was copied and sent to two legal firms without my permission. 

My current spouse is trying to take the house that my children and I live in away from us. He wants us to move one block away from him even though he claims I am stalking him. He claims he doesn’t have enough money to sustain our house while he has 4.3 million in liquid assets. 

I believe that I am in the war of my life. And I want to protect the children and get as far away from him as possible. 

The court systems seem unhelpful. He somehow passed his self initiated drug test that I do not believe covers the whole story. He has been retaliating by cutting off utilities etc. 

I’m reading the temp orders in hopes of finding a loop hole. I miss my children terribly and they confirm that they are not happy to leave me. They are 3 and 5 years old, one with a speech disability.

I am asking questions about what my rights are and I am trudging forward with as little fear as I can possibly suppress through logic. 

I miss my dog Scarlett. I miss my cat cactusfish. I miss my old life: but contradictory to that, I miss my children when they are gone. And I feel that they are safe in the home that I have chosen for them. If things fall apart in a manner that I don’t think it ideal… I feel brave enough to deal with it and conquer it. My abusive ex does not know who I am and how strong I have become. 

Come and get me, you little coward.